The Hoff-Family Part 2

It all started on my first day at work, when I was introduced to a colleague, Achim, who just happened to be wearing a t-shirt with a David Hasselhoff picture and the words ‘Don’t hassle the Hoff’ written across it. I thought it was hilarious, not to mention brave (where I come from, people wear suits to work), and became instantly attracted to his hoffness, uh I mean hotness, and his brilliant sense of humour.

A few weeks later I was sitting at my desk, chatting to Achim about, hmm, work (in case my old boss is reading this) and the conversation turned to the flirty side. I decided to win him over by pressing the right buttons. The right Hoff buttons. So I was looking for some images of David online and in the middle of my research, Achim, who sat on a desk a couple of rows behind mine, sent me a message that said: “You have good taste, looking at Hoff pictures.” I was mortified. So I asked a friend to do the dirty work for me instead. Later on, when I told that friend that Achim and I were together, she asked me in an amused tone, “the Hoff guy????”

So eventually we became a couple, you know, like any other couple. We had a great time together, he asked me to go to the Hoff concert with him, when I stayed at his place I slept on a Hoff pillow, he would ask if I wanted to listen to some music and then put the Hoff on… just your average love story. At first I thought he was kidding about the concert, but then I saw that the Hoff really was coming to town. Achim excitedly prepared himself for it for about six months.

Now, the concert was awesome. That man has more energy than a group of ten 20-year-olds combined. He changed into several different outfits, he danced to every song, he sang live (which is more than can be said for most pop artists) and he rocked that stage. I have never seen Achim and his brother, Nikolai, looking so happy. The looks on their faces were priceless. They were like two little kids in a sweet shop. They truly are the biggest Hoff fans in the world.

When Achim introduces me to new friends, 9 out of 10 times they ask me, “do you actually like the Hoff or are you just pretending for Achim?” What can I say… It’s important to be passionate about something in life. It’s endearing that one of Achim’s biggest passions is the Hoff. When you love someone, you support their dreams, and you encourage and help them achieve them. Achim loves the Hoff, I love Achim, therefore I love the Hoff. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

When his friends tell me that I need to encourage him to wear non-Hoff tshirts, I guiltily nod and smile, because the only encouragement I give him is to keep loving the Hoff. I even had a personalised Hoff tshirt made for him last Christmas. And made little cakes with the letters ‘h-a-p-p-y-h-o-f-f-d-a-y’ written with icing for his last birthday. And we have pictures of David hanging on our walls at home.

There’s just one thing. The Hoff pillow. It is totally not in good condition. I offered to wash it and sew the holes but Achim is too afraid that it won’t survive the surgery. My claim is that it’s safer tucked away in the wardrobe, where it will last longer. Although that thought worries me a little. How long can a pillow last?!

Monica Tavares